I met my ex-husband when I was a senior in high school and was together until two years ago when I met someone that gave me the reason and courage to leave. My ex and I never had a good relationship, abuse started early. I was pregnant by 19 and from that moment on I think we thought we were just stuck. In these years there was alot of pain both mentally and physically, he would cheat and it would be my fault so I was a bad person and would get beat. My mental health dwindled over those long years but I always told myself it was best for the kids ( my second daughter was born 4 years after my first). I met someone very special to me at work about three years ago, whom made me want to have something better, who made me feel better about me, and who told me that I deserved so much more out of life. So one day (after a fight that ended with a punch to my face) i left. All of that was really to say that I'm really having a hard time learning to live "normally". I have HUGE trust issue's that has put a huge strain on my new relationship, I find myself having huge anger issue's, I find myself obsessing over trying to prove that my boyfriend is cheating (haven't found anything yet). He tells me often that "he isn't my husband" "not all men are like him" etc.... The sad thing is that I know this but how do you overcome the fear of heartbreak again. I don't have any "relationship" experience so I have no idea WHAT IS NORMAL, which often creates arguments between him and I. I spend so much time worried about worrying about things that haven't happened yet such as "him cheating on me" that I will not allow myself to relax, to enjoy the everyday we spend together, the numerous things that we have in common, and that everyday we make each other laugh. This is everything that I've never had before so why am I so pressed about pushing him and pushing him to the point were he says "I don't know how much more I can take Sarah". So....How do you trust? What is normal? I've tryed more than one counselor but none that I thought could get me to a level where I needed to be. Any advice would be great, or just keep me in your prayers.