Well its the final week of writing our papers, two papers to classes YUK!! I have so much work to do still, I hate this part of the course. Kids are home for Easter break this week (which makes it harder to write my papers,fighting for the computer).
Here in Ohio the sun is beginning to make its apperance once in awhile, still getting cold at night, but according to the weather man 77 by saturday.
Ive been doing alot of work remodeling my kitchen and its almost done, new floor, backsplash, paint and new appliances. I hope to be all finished before the course is over that way I can post a picture, it looks beautiful.

I always seem to forget about posting in my blog. This week has been a busy week, I am putting a backsplash up in the kitchen and Luke is putting down hard wood floor. I cant wait until it is all done and put back together to see the final results. I also have been trying to work hard on getting both of my papers wrote for my classes that way Im not trying to do it all in the last week (which I did last course). I cant believe that my current courses are almost over, it went so fast.

I have been doing so well in all my classes here at Kaplan, I have never been so proud of myself. But for some reason I'm having a hard time focusing in my present two classes. I have learned alot from Professor Manning, you have gone over each step of this paper with us and I think all of us will have a wonderful paper because of you. I'm having alittle trouble though with my own discipline, I still have alot to do on my paper. In my A&P 2 class, I am flopping. My outline is do on Tuesday and I'm not finished researching. My teacher is so very hard to understand during seminar. Everyday I tell myself that I'm going to focus more on school and the day goes by and I didn't.
I'm still unemployed, I can not believe that out of all the applications and resumes I have put in that NO ONE has called.

I met my ex-husband when I was a senior in high school and was together until two years ago when I met someone that gave me the reason and courage to leave. My ex and I never had a good relationship, abuse started early. I was pregnant by 19 and from that moment on I think we thought we were just stuck. In these years there was alot of pain both mentally and physically, he would cheat and it would be my fault so I was a bad person and would get beat. My mental health dwindled over those long years but I always told myself it was best for the kids ( my second daughter was born 4 years after my first). I met someone very special to me at work about three years ago, whom made me want to have something better, who made me feel better about me, and who told me that I deserved so much more out of life. So one day (after a fight that ended with a punch to my face) i left. All of that was really to say that I'm really having a hard time learning to live "normally". I have HUGE trust issue's that has put a huge strain on my new relationship, I find myself having huge anger issue's, I find myself obsessing over trying to prove that my boyfriend is cheating (haven't found anything yet). He tells me often that "he isn't my husband" "not all men are like him" etc.... The sad thing is that I know this but how do you overcome the fear of heartbreak again. I don't have any "relationship" experience so I have no idea WHAT IS NORMAL, which often creates arguments between him and I. I spend so much time worried about worrying about things that haven't happened yet such as "him cheating on me" that I will not allow myself to relax, to enjoy the everyday we spend together, the numerous things that we have in common, and that everyday we make each other laugh. This is everything that I've never had before so why am I so pressed about pushing him and pushing him to the point were he says "I don't know how much more I can take Sarah". So....How do you trust? What is normal? I've tryed more than one counselor but none that I thought could get me to a level where I needed to be. Any advice would be great, or just keep me in your prayers.